An envelope of timidity. A shadow of desperativity. A contract with silent lucidity. A song of never-ending erraticicity. Once upon a time I was asleep. Way back along time ago, when I would look at the sky and see only clouds. Now I see dragons and men fighting them as they fly through the air in dazzling displays of daring. But now, I walk: through the trees and along the narrow trail...I can not stop walking. I think I have broken the world record for sleeplessness. I have been up for 28 days. Meaningless words stream through my head, broken by sentences that make sense. Elongated diagrams of arithmetic and calculus, shrouded in quantum physics and geometry. Unknown people follow me. They are invisible. They talk to me through the wind.

"No," I say to them...over and over again. "Leave me alone you beasts of the wind; I do not know anything about sharks. I do not care if you think they are tasty, and no, for the last time; I will not feed them to you."

I have been walking down the Appalachian Trail for 20 days. After being awake for 7 days, I decided to drive to Maine, and walk down the trail. From Maine to Georgia, non-stop. I have seen Mountains and waterfalls, and lots of dirt. Leave me alone you frog, I do not have any candy for you. I walk around 50 miles a day, since I do not sleep, so I have traveled about 100 miles. No wait, 1000 miles, yes that is right. I have been wearing the same socks the whole time. I think my feet are falling off. There are lots of nice people who walk this trail. They give me food, and water, and sometimes something a bit more exotic. Like five days ago, or was it six. This strange man...Green apples falling down around me, I lay under the cherry tree... This strange man, he gave me a pill, covered in tiny reds dots. He said he made them himself. It tasted like cherries when I chewed it up. I still have the tastes of cherries in my mouth. I can still see the millions of spiders that chased me down the trail as I ran for my life. I traveled 80 miles that day. I think I am in Georgia now, either that or in the ocean. I have not been paying attention since I lost my contacts in the freezing pond, and I can no longer see to well. Which is all the better.

I must lay down for a bit. I must rest my eyes, perhaps sleep will finally come. Stopping, I sit under the tall Oak tree, and close my eyes. I hear a river, flowing through my brain. I feel expansive, like a balloon being slowly blown up. Opening my eyes, I see a tiny man, sitting in front of me, smoking.

"Hey, big fellow," He asks. "You want a cigarette?"
"Sure."
"Hello, I am Ashtar."
"Hi, I am Thomas."
"Ahhh, Thomas. A wonderful name."
"Thanks."
"So, you want to know something, Thomas."
"I know lots of thing, Ashtar."
"Not this."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"Ok, lay it on me, my tiny bearded friend," I say with a smile.
"Ok, I am a computer."
"A computer? I thought I was confused, but I see elves can also
be lost in the realities people do not accept as real."

"No, it's true Thomas. I am a holographic representation of an elf so as not to scare you. I could have appeared as anything, but I figured an elf is pretty unthreatening, and I know how you love cigarettes. Anyway, you are a direct descendant of one of the original makers of the computer. And you are now old enough to gain access to it. I will be your computer interface. Just ask me a question, and I will show you what I mean."

"Hummm, ok, how about this." Thinking of something difficult, something I did not know, I asked, "What is the average weight of a hummingbird?"

"Oh come on Thomas, really now. I can answer you, but I am not that kind of computer. I was used to help create your entire solar system. I created your sun, and all the planets that surround it. I created the oceans and all the things that came from it. I am also hooked up to this huge network of dinosaurs. You may say, but dinosaurs are extinct. Yes, that is true, but so are the animals that humans evolved from. Think of what dinosaurs evolved into. They are rather mean animals who live underground. They feed off of human blood, they drink it for energy. They also can absorb negative energy from wars. They love it when humans go to war. They actually are rather smart, yet they have no cares or conscience. But, oh yea, males average 3.22g and females average 3.41g, since they are larger. And in case you wanted to know, they flap their wings about 73 times per second."

"73 times, really?"
"Yup."
"Cool, thanks for the info."
"No problem. Well, I have to go."

Suddenly the tiny elf disappeared and my thoughts seemed to want to follow. I need sleep. Sleepless shadows sulking over stranded motorist. Hum, I know. I can count sheep. Closing my eyes again, I feel the tender tendrils of my sub-conscious pulling me under it's spell.

Before me I see a tall tree, running besides the tree and continuing on into the horizon, is a small white wicker fence. The grass is greener on the side with the tree. The sheep are on the other side. Suddenly they line up and the first one jumps over. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep...and suddenly I am sleeping. I sleep so deeply I go into a coma. There I lay, deep in a coma, but unfortunately all the people who walk by think I am asleep, and keep on walking. None of them know that I am in a coma. And then slowly, over the next two days, I die of starvation. There I lay, dead, next to the Appalachian Trail, only 40 miles away from the end, my soul hovering above. Eventually, one guy walks by and sees a rabbit picking at my eyeball. He screams and calls 911 on his cell phone. As they carry my body from the trail, I float up into the sky, rising higher and higher and higher. Suddenly I am in the middle of the sun, sitting behind a computer, with a tiny bearded elf next to me.

"Hey, you want a cigarette?"
"Sure."

By Jeff Nolan