The phone rang. It had been ringing for several minutes.
I wish I had a fucking answering machine.
I wish I had a fucking memory. I wish memories had me.
I see a shadow, it waves around me,
a hula-hoop following it in endless circles.
Where is the beginning, the end?
I don't see them anywhere.

The fan hummed. It had been humming for several minutes.
I wish I had a fucking oilcan.
I wish I had a fucking patience. I wish patience had me.
I see a desk, its insides filled with uselessness,
struggling to bulge out of the closed drawers.
Where is the dream, the reality?
I don't see them anywhere.

The TV screamed. It had been screaming for several minutes.
I wish I had a fucking remote control.
I wish I had a fucking emotion. I wish emotions had me.
I see a fire, its burning flames pouring out of the kitchen,
swooping across the roof.
Where is the fear, the courage?
I don't see them anywhere.

The cat cried. It had been crying for several minutes.
I wish I had a fucking muzzle.
I wish I had a fucking hope. I wish hope had me.
I see a man, his face pressed up against my window,
staring at me in disgust.
Where is the dignity, the pity?
I don't see them anywhere.

My skin boils. It has been melting for several minutes.
I wish I had a fucking water jug.
I wish I had a fucking clue. I wish clues had me.
I see a great darkness, its endlessness spread before me,
pulling me into its grasp.
Where is the good, the evil?
I don't see them anywhere.

By Jeff Nolan